What are you ASKing for this Lent?

So for the nth time you’re heading for the beach for your Lenten vacation—to get away from it all. After all, it’s the only time of the year when you get to enjoy almost five straight workless days with summer in full throttle.

It’s time to relax and recharge, you think to yourself. But give it a day or so after, and you’re back to your old self again. Why is that? Perhaps, successive days under the sun aren’t really what you need...

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Decisions. Decisions.

"Obey the Lord not out of fear but out of love."

When I was a kid, I hated going to mass. Waking up at 7 in the morning on a Sunday wasn't really my cup of tea. Who would like to pull away from snuggle pillows, get up from a comfy bed, and take a shower that early? I don't know about you, but I definitely wouldn't.

But being the only minor in the family, I always obliged. That or I endure continuous poking from my dad to wake up. "Mainit na bato sa kalsada," he'd loudly say, you'd think he had a megaphone in hand.

As a teenager, my going to mass wasn't as wholehearted still. I remember being eager to complete the nine dawn masses during Christmas season just because I had a crush on one of the altar boys. Very good motivation, right?

Now, on my twenties, I voluntarily go to mass. Not because my parents told me so. Not because I like one of the altar boys (at my age, isn't that already child abuse? haha). But because I love God and I decided to grow in faith and love with Him.

As single adults, we are at the stage where we can do absolutely anything. We choose our paths. We design our lives. We make our own decisions. Yes, there may be people who give directives on how to run our lives, but each decision still lies with us.

Last Sunday, I saw more than 40 single men and women who decided to respond to God's call. Though only a simple gathering and meet-up session, the Singles' Huddle was an initial step toward realizing a single life anchored on God. On the next Huddle, I hope to see more single people making the same decision.

You are no longer a kid. Not a teenager either. You are a single adult with a decision to make, not out of fear but out of love for your God.

So, what's your decision?

The Pink Clearbook and The White Carton Board

A pink clearbook with about 20 pages of colorful construction paper. Yeah, that was it.

My friend Laie has always brought that pink clearbook with her whenever we'd meet up for casual dinner and a movie; it was much like an extension of her. The unassuming obsession had always left me dumbfounded...until she handed it to me for a closer look.

In each page were pictures of a pretty supermodel, of a happy family, of a fabulous wedding gown, and of sunny Singapore. Every once in a while, as I scanned through each collage, I found glittery flowers, colorful butterflies, and cute thingamajigs, proof of her creative juices. In a few corners and in some edges abound cut-out letters from magazines that spell EXCELLENCE, BEAUTY, SUCCESS, and HAPPINESS.

After going through the last page, I realized that it was true; it was indeed an extension of her. The pink clearbook was her: the future her.

I then told myself that I wanted something like that. I wanted a dream book. I wanted to have dreams and to put them in writing and in pictures. I wanted to visualize my future as if it was already right before my eyes. I felt excited. Excited about the possibilities. Excited about the journey to reaching those dreams. Excited about the happy life ahead.

For sometime now, I have been pulled down by recurring bouts of nothingness. One dreary morning, I asked myself, "What am I waking up for?" I'd often think I'm a zombie, just waking up day in and day out, waiting for nothing specific to happen and just going with the dull flow of my life. Seems just melodramatic chit chat, huh? But it is actually true. I thought I've already gone past what they call quarter-life crisis, but I guess there is no certain end mark to a period of not knowing your goals and your dreams. Even if you already have dreams and have attained some of them, there will always come a time when you'll reach a plateau and want new, better, or way different dreams and wishes.

When I got home from that I-need-a-dream-book day, I told God to please reveal to me my biggest dreams, to give me more than pictures and cut-outs but the actual desire and the courage to work for and fulfill those dreams. I asked God to affirm to me that I really needed to have dreams to hold on to, so I could wake up from zombie mode.

So imagine my surprise when, last Sunday, at the Feast Alabang*, together with more than a thousand attendees, I was handed a dream board. Yeah, it was far different from the dream book I wanted to have, but the two were basically the same: both were visual reminders of fulfilled wishes. The dream board I got was like God telling me, "My dear Osy, stop being a zombie. Here, doodle, write, picture your biggest wishes and dreams here." It was the affirmation I was asking for.

Now, I am no longer a zombie. I already have dreams and wishes. I have yet to finish up with my dream board though, but I have rummaged through the dusty stack of old magazines at home, trying to find the most accurate representation of that dream Tagaytay weekend home, that job I wish to have, that book I want to write, and that future husband and kids I'll be taking care of. Those are just a few of the dozen wishes that God has recently revealed to me, revealed through my past hurts and wounds, and I am excited to work on them. I know my wishes and dreams will entail a lot of work and a mighty long journey. The road won't be easy, but I'm sure my Big God of all dreams and wishes won't fail to encourage and equip me. Thank you my Big God!

*FEAST ALABANG is a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ). It happens every Sunday at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd floor Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am, 1:30pm, and 4pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

Long Weekends

I look forward to long weekends. I am one of those who, at the beginning of the year, are very anxious to know all the declared holidays for that year, just so I can start planning trips and scheduling gimmicks on foreseen long weekends.

But the long weekend that just recently passed was spent most differently. There was no trip to the beach and no prescheduled out-of-town gimmick. But unusual as it was, it was one great weekend.

Friday was spent rendering overtime work (yeah, bummer), working with the Feast Alabang Media Ministry on an upcoming event, and practicing with the Music Ministry right after. Yes, my day was jam-packed, and I ended up clamoring to get to bed as soon as I got home. I was tired, but it was the happy kind of tired (if there is such a term). It was great to work with people who voluntarily give their time and talent in serving God the best way they know how. The Feast Alabang Media and Music Ministries are a bunch of hardworking servants.

The Closer to Yahweh Silent Retreat was organized by the PICC Feast Intercessory Ministry.

Saturday came and I found myself in Antipolo, together with some 90 people, hoping to spend the entire day just experiencing the Lord more intimately. As I've said in my previous post, my life has been a roller-coaster ride of emotional ups and downs (mostly downs) recently that I felt I needed a break. I needed to silence myself for a bit just so I could forget all the noise in my life. (Those who know how madaldal I am can attest that this is pretty hard for me.) And the silence felt good. For 5 hours, it was just me and my God on a date, having a quiet conversation. It was an exchange of worries and assurances; I offered Him my worries, and He assured me of His promises. He revealed to me how immense His love is, and however "unworthy" I felt, there was just no changing that love. At the end of the silent retreat, with swollen eyes from crying, I fully accepted that love, and sheer joy and thankfulness followed.

Citipointe Live in Manila

But my Saturday wasn't done yet. After spending the day in silence, I then proceeded to ULTRA to join the Feast Alabang Music Ministry in watching a worship concert. It was my first time to attend such an event. Since I came in late, the stairs was the best available seat; the stadium was that full.

Throughout the concert, there were moments when I found myself just amazed at the sight of God's young people praising Him together. Everybody was up from their seats, singing in praise, lifting their hands, and jumping for joy. It was a sight to behold. I was imagining the Lord smiling ear to ear, pleased at seeing His people sing and dance for Him and adoring His children very much.

As I looked around, I told myself that these are a thousand people who may have failures and ongoing difficulties, who may have broken hearts and broken relationships, and who may still have unfulfilled dreams and unanswered prayers. But these are also a thousand people who still choose to praise God and to thank Him for everything. It was amazing.

Sunday was Feast Alabang* day. Bro. Arun talked about the importance of praise and worship and had us, the music ministers, sing a lot more songs than usual. It was great seeing everyone sing and dance for God. It was like everyone had become a music minister. After the Feast, I attended our Caring Group after. Our caring group is composed of single wonderful people who want to share with each other how God is touching them everyday. I am blessed to have a support group from whom I learn so much and who help me grow in my relationship with the Lord. With the sharings and the never-ending chat, our group session ended at about 10pm.

That's it. Three days of fatigue. Three physically draining days. But three days well spent in service to God and in praise to Him. That was my long weekend, and I loved it.

*FEAST ALABANG (formerly called the SOUTH FEAST) is a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ). It happens every Sunday at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd floor Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am, 1:30pm, and 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

Grief, Greed, and Giving

Pain. I don't like pain. Who does anyway? If I can escape pain in any way possible, I would.

But as much as we try to avoid it, we actually need pain. Pain prevents us from spiritual hypothermia, that which makes us like zombies with no dream, no life, and no direction.

At one point in my life, I think God has thought I was suffering from spiritual hypothermia that He needed to do something major major to wake me up and shake me off my being a zombie.

It was the morning of December 10, 2007. I can still remember vividly the sight of my Tita Lyn lying on the road with her lower extremities smashed into bits. (Morbid as it may seem, but that was exactly how she looked.) She was crossing the street that morning, on her way to work, when a rushing bus counterflowed and hit her. She struggled for her life, but as the witnesses had accounted, the bus driver continued to go back and forth her already crushed body, causing her immediate death.

Tita Lyn and I lived in the same house and shared the same room for 13 years. She was practically the sibling I never had. She was more like my older sister and was my super best friend. She was my constant kakampi and ka-inuman. I was even closer to her than to my mom.

So seeing her die, and in a very devastating way at that, really crushed and destroyed the life in me. When she was still alive, we agreed that we'd grow old together since we were both okay being single and, at that time, really had no plans of marrying. I was ok. I was satisfied. But when she died, she took with her not only that plan but also our travel dreams, our Sunday movie dates, and our buy-one/get-one (she does the buying, and I do the taking) shopping sprees. She left me behind. She left me alone.

I was the worst person after her death. I didn't know such kind of pain existed. And I didn't know I was going to experience it. This pain went on for a year or so. I wore black to signify my GRIEF. I didn't attend Mass. I didn't pray. I was angry at God for taking away Tita Lyn, my security blanket. I was angry that I was left behind with unfulfilled dreams, ended habits, and no one to grow old with. I was just angry and in pain.

During the wake, my inang (grandmother), who was a devout Catholic, said that, yes, she was mourning but she had no anger in her. She readily forgave the bus driver and remained faithful to God. She believed that Tita Lyn was, first and foremost, God's child and not hers alone. My Tita was only lent to her by God to take care of and to love, and at that time, God wanted Tita Lyn back because it was His turn to take care of His child. It was very hard for me to accept that. I wanted Tita for myself. I wanted my older sister back. I don't want to be left alone. It was GREED that overpowered me. And because of that greed, I remained the angry person I was long after she died.

In March 2009, I attended a crossroads retreat. During the retreat, the most explicit message from God came to me in the form of the priest's homily. The priest told the crowd that he had just gone from a tragic vehicular accident, but forgiveness abounded the moment. There, I claimed that it was God's way of telling me not to be enslaved by grief and greed anymore but to let go and move on. It was time to let go of my Tita and of the secure future that we planned together. It was time to finally GIVE her to God and to empty my hands of my security blanket. It was time to GIVE God those unfulfilled dreams and plans that I kept holding onto so He can give me new dreams and plans. It was so painful to finally GIVE her to God because that meant that I have to start anew. But God still saw me through the new life He wanted for me.

Soon after, I started to open myself to other people. I joined different groups and made new friends. I began going to church again. Yes, there was still a little pain, and my eyes would still well up when memories of her suddenly some rushing in. But I realized that I had nowhere to go but to God. Running away from Him was no use because He will just continue to embrace me. Why then should I continue to run away?

Grief, greed, and giving - all these caused me so much pain with Tita Lyn's death, but the pain just woke me up to realize that I can still have my own dreams and my own plans. I can have my own path to follow and my own life to live. And though the future is not crystal clear, no need to worry because God has that covered.

*Grief, greed, and giving are the sources of inner pain, as talked about by Bro. Arun during the FEAST ALABANG last Sunday. FEAST ALABANG (formerly called the SOUTH FEAST) is a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ). It happens every Sunday at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd floor Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

Photo source: womensavers.com

Ten Thousand Hours

10 thousand hours. That's what it takes to be the best in any area of your life.

If you want to be the best husband or wife, invest 10 thousand hours on your spouse. Appreciate not only the big things but also the littlest gestures. Be more understanding and less demanding. Express love in different ways. Be your spouse's best friend.

If you want to be the best mom or dad, allot 10 thousand hours for your children. Spend time with them. See them grow up. Listen to their needs. Do not hesitate to show them your love.

If you want to have the best relationship with God, spend 10 thousand hours knowing Him. Just like any other relationship, give time to your God. Listen to His words through prayer and reflection. Know Him deeper by reading the Bible. Live a life that is of service to Him and to His people. Plant seeds in Heaven.

10 thousand hours. That's what it takes to be the best in any area of your life. Your time starts now.


*This is Talk 2 (Give Time) of the T3 Series held at FEAST ALABANG. FEAST ALABANG (formerly called the SOUTH FEAST) is a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ). It happens every Sunday at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd floor Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

(Photo source: paper-money.blogspot.com)

Worship @ Feast Alabang

It was a blast. No, it was far more than that. It was an amazing display of God's grace.

Most of the music ministers had stuggles as the Feast Alabang Anniversary celebration neared. Some had health concerns until the night before the event. Some had personal concerns that also needed attention. And still, some had too much in their hands. But throughout all these, all music ministers, and servants as well, knew that God's grace is sufficient. And indeed, it was.

The worship leaders as they invite the Alabang Feasters to give praise to God

Feast Alabang music ministers

I have recently learned that, when you come to worship the God of all heaven and earth, you need not burden yourself with thoughts of your current situation, however unpleasant they are. You just come into His presence, leave behind everything else, and offer your most sincere praise to the One who deserves it most.

I have been reminded also that worship is not an act that needs a seal of approval. We do not need to be tagged "holy" to worship the Lord because, whether we "deserve" it or not, God is due our praises and songs.

Give our all as we worship the Lord.

Thus, our worries and personal concerns should never be a hindrance in giving our all in praising the Lord.

How about you? How do you praise your God?

*FEAST ALABANG (formerly called the SOUTH FEAST) is a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ). It happens every Sunday at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd floor Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

(Photo source: Feast Alabang FB page. Add us up!)

Get Up and Enjoy God's Blessings

(Photo source: http://www.hotelemerald.co.jp/)

Life is indeed an eat-all-you-can buffet. You get to pick from a wide array of blessings all laid in front of you. You get to choose what you most desire without worries. You get to enjoy the best of the best blessings God had prepared for you.

But the thing is, in a buffet, before you get to enjoy the sight of a table full of wonderful goodies, you need to get up from your seat first and leave your table. In life, you need to do the same. You need to get up, leave your comfort zone, and traverse the thin line that separates you from your courage zone and, hence, from the blessings awaiting you. And THAT, for me, is the tough part.

For the longest time, I have not been a big fan of risk and drastic change. I forego taking decisions that would make me leave what is familiar and plunge into the unknown. I have dreaded the possibility of not knowing what to do next, of having to endure difficulties and sacrifices, and of leaving "the good life I know." In short, I never choose to get up and leave my comfort zone.

I realized that I have long been stuck sitting by my table and missing out on plates and plates of blessings that I might have enjoyed had I only chosen to get up. Most of us are like that too: just comfortable with where we are and passing up on each new opportunity given to us to make our dreams come true and, thus, letting go of the chance to be a blessing to others.

The most recent change in location of the South Feast* is a fine testament of getting up and choosing the best blessings prepared for us. Everyone knew that a new home for the South Feast would entail a huge sum of money and a ton of effort and time. But everyone knew as well that this would be a great blessing to more people.

Between the hindrance of budget and time constraints and the vision of more people being blessed is the choice to get up and leave the table. The South Feast* family took that choice. And the result: a brand new home we can call our own, one that will be home to more relationships reborn, more lives and businesses blessed, more dreams fulfilled, and more prayers answered.

Now, get up from that seat, and enjoy God's buffet of blessings. (That goes for me too!)

*The SOUTH FEAST, now FEAST ALABANG, is a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ). It happens every Sunday at the Feast Alabang Center, 2nd floor Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

South Feast First Anniversary

Has it really been a year?

It seems like it was only yesterday when I wondered what "South Feast" (then) handwritten in white placards placed near the escalators meant.

After a year, "South Feast" has become crystal clear to me.

South Feast is my family and my home. It is my source of encouragement, my teacher, and my personal cheerleader.

How about you? What has the South Feast been to you for the past year?

Join us on August 8, 2010 (11am and 3pm) at the newly built SOUTH FEAST CENTER at the 2nd floor (beside Tony and Jackey Salon), Festival Mall, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, as the South Feast celebrates its first year of awakening the healer in us, making us believe in our dreams, helping our relationships get stronger, and encouraging us to live a life of no regrets.

Happy 1st anniversary, South Feast!

I Eat Plants

Okay, okay. I admit it. Of the nearly 365 South Feast talks that I have heard, last Sunday's talk on eating right was the most difficult to digest (pun intended).

I absolutely love food. Isn't it obvious? :D I'm not really a meat lover, but I'm not into vegetables and fruits either. I love love love crab (I know this restaurant in McKinley Hills that serve terrific crabs. The price is terrific too. LOL.), and I used to think shrimp is a gift from heaven (Hello Bubba Gump Greenbelt!). But after hearing Bro. Jon Escoto speak on better food choices, I think I just might say goodbye to a few of the best gastronomic things I love. *insert sad face here*

The main message last Sunday at the South Feast* was proper nourishment. By properly nourishing our body, we reduce our chances of acquiring diseases. But how do we go about this? God has three prescriptions.

1) Eat plants. Did you know that our digestive makeup is more similar to that of herbivores than that of carnivores? This supports the fact that we are designed to eat more plants, i.e., fruits and vegetables. Thus, it is recommended that we make fruits and vegetables our main food. So go right ahead, and dig in to as much salad as you can. Don't forget the vinaigrette!

2) Eat clean. The Bible has long discussed the difference between clean and unclean animals. But science also supports this teaching: that poultry and beef are better choices than pork because pigs eat absolutely anything (including nasty stuff), that shellfish are the scavengers of the seas and are thus infested with toxin, and that fish is the cleaner choice among seafood since it releases its toxin through its scales. For the non-scientists in us, it's just saying avoid pork and shellfish as much as possible. *insert sad face here AGAIN*

3) Eat "other" food, with other meaning oxygen, movement, sunlight, and sleep. Yes, the stuff that we almost always neglect.

The recommendations:

• Inhale more oxygen. Take deep breaths (and always thank God after, because you're still breathing).
• Move. Move. Move. Play sports. Jog. Swim. Run. Do anything to keep your body going.
  
• Expose yourself to sunlight. Vitamin D is always best taken naturally.
• Get adequate rest. The body actually replenishes and heals itself during sleep.

Okay. That's it. Notice anything?

These are actually old stuff. We knew these from Health 101. We heard these from our moms. We learned these from our doctors and nutritionists.

But do we follow?

As for me, that's a big NO. But learning that both science and religion agree that this is the way to go, that NO may somehow inch its way to being a YES.

*This is Talk 4 (Nourishment) of the Awaken the Healer in You Series held at the SOUTH FEAST. The SOUTH FEAST, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

Photo source: www.you-stylish-barcelona-apartments.com

You are a Healer

God gave us the power to heal ourselves.

Ever wondered where the nasty bruises and cuts we've incurred during our childhood go? Ever wondered why that overly painful wound we got on our right knee stopped bleeding? Ever wondered why we have fever yet we are still able to do certain tasks?

The answer: Healing mechanism.

God has instilled us with it. Yes, we have a powerful army within us that fights off bacteria and viruses. We have the best pharmacy inside us, bringing just the right amount of healing for our physical ailments at the right time.

But because we have not yet grasped the idea that we have a built-in healing mechanism, we have somehow adopted the alcogel culture. Notice that hand sanitizers and wet wipes have been a necessity these days; it seems like we are so afraid of getting germs into our bodies. Prevention is always okay, I agree. But, as Bro. Arun puts it, too much of it actually weakens our healing mechanism, making it lax in fighting off bacteria. The key is still to strengthen our bodies against diseases.

Okay, I've done that, you say. I have been taking care of myself. I have been strengthening the healer in me. But why am I still sick?

The answer: Toxins.

But what exactly are these toxins?

When we are gripped with hate or anger that our blood pressure rises up to the heavens, that's toxin. When we are depressed and continue to wallow in sorrow that we feel that our body weakens, that's toxin. When we worry too much and fear everything that we eventually experience headaches, that's toxin. Remember that our body and our soul are one. Our soul, when wounded by such toxins, manifests its pain outward in our body. So when we remove the toxins in our soul, we remove the sickness in our body.

But apart from believing that we have a healer within us and removing the toxins inside us, let us also change our mindset and our expectations. With a strong healing mechanism should come the right expectations. Expect to live a longer life. Expect to live a stronger and brighter future. Expect to have more years to make our dreams come true, enjoy happy relationships, and create lasting memories.

So there. Three points to remember: 1) We have a built-in healing mechanism. 2) We should remove all toxins in our soul. 3) We must have the right expectations.

*This is Talk 1 (Healer) of the Awaken the Healer in You Series held at the South Feast. The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

Awaken the Healer in You

Just this morning, my mom was admitted to the hospital for the continuous chest pain she has been feeling the past week. To some, this may elicit gasps, maybe a little shock, and an enormous amount of concern. To me, this is old news. Not that I am not concerned with my mom's welfare, I am and severely at that; it's just that her being confined to the hospital because of her heart ailments has never been new to me. She has been going in and out of such gloomy institution for the past months now, and I've learned to adapt (not that I want to) to the situation.

For the longest time, my family has been battling it out with various sicknesses of different levels. My mom, at a very young age, had been diagnosed with heart ailment. Her blood pressure tends to rise more that usual, even when relaxed. And just recently, her heart was seen to enlarge at a slow rate. She also has diabetes, taking in maintenance drugs to control her blood sugar when reaching past the heavens. Add to her very elaborate medical history the two major operations she had undergone for the past five years: one with her gall bladder and the other with her ovaries. My dad, never to be outdone, had just recently undergone a major operation, which also led to the discovery that his blood sugar is way high and that he is in the onset of being a diabetic himself. I myself am undergoing therapy for my knees, which have been giving me significant pain for months now, disabling me from doing certain activities and limiting my already-limited physique.

So you see, health problems are never new to me. I have been used to the sight of sickly people in emergency rooms, have made friends with doctors and nurses in clinics, and have been at home in both hotel-like and dreadfully looking hospital rooms. With that, my constant prayers have always revolved around healing and recovery of my loved ones and myself.

But God has His ways. It couldn't have been any more timely. Yesterday, at the South Feast*, a new series entitled Awaken the Healer in You was started. The series is broken down into six parts: Healer, Emotions, Relationships, Nourishment, Protection, and Faith. Each talk intends to teach us to bring out the healing power within us.

With that promise and with my constant petitions for healing in my family, I know that this new series will help me tremendously. My body is God's home address, and I know that God wants to heal me. I am ready to be healed and to heal.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

Shrek 4 and the Joy of Intentional Living

Shrek getting tired of his domesticated life.

After ten thousand years, I've finally seen Shrek Forever After (the fourth installment of the Shrek series) in the cinemas yesterday. The movie tells of Shrek's domesticated life. After rescuing Princess Fiona and saving the kingdom of Far Far Away, Shrek suddenly found himself a domesticated family man. He would live each and every day doing the same things for his family and friends, feeding them, taking care of them, and spending time with them. However, as time went by, it dawned on him that gone are the days when he felt like "a real ogre," feared by villagers and doing things just because. With this longing for his past self, he made a deal with Rumpelstiltskin, a magical creature who makes wishes come true, for him to have just one day to be "a real ogre" again. But with such deal came more loneliness than the happiness he wished for. (I won't give more spoilers that I am entitled to for the sake of those who haven't seen the movie.)

Shrek making a deal with Rumpelstiltskin.

In the movie, Shrek was surrounded by a loving family, best friends, and adoring villagers, but he gave up all of these for just a day to be back to his old self. We sometimes do the same. We exchange long-term happiness for a moment of pleasure. We exchange our greatest treasure for a minute, tiny, microscopic piece of gold that life offers us. We give away everything that we have and everything that is important to us for something that is not even worth it.

Last Sunday at the South Feast*, Bro. Arun talked about living deliberately. Let us not make unworthy deals and regrettable exchanges. Let us not just accept what life brings us but learn to choose wisely. Everyday, we are confronted by life's tests. We are always given options, and from these options, we are called to make decisions. Each decision that we make and each answer that we give to each test determine our destiny. God never holds the steering wheel of our lives; He only clears the path, gives us signs, and guides us on our way, but it is still always us who are the driver of our lives.

But what if I made a wrong turn? What if I made a wrong decision? Am I doomed? Is my life over? We may ask ourselves these questions, but let us be assured that, if we fail in one test, if we made a wrong turn, that doesn't mean that we failed in life altogether. Our God is a God of chances. God never runs out of chances to give to us, whether it's our second, third, or nth chance. He will never grow tired of guiding us as we hold the steering wheel of our lives.

So don't fear. Live deliberately. Choose wisely. Take the steering wheel of your life.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

(Photo source: Yahoo! Movies)

BIG MISSION

A Walk to Remember. That would be my answer if asked what my ultimate favorite love-na-love best movie of all time. (Okay. It's a girly movie, but hey, I'm a girl, so there should be no problem with that. LOL.)

In the movie, Jaimie, the main character, was dying of leukemia. She had a list of things to do in life, like spend a year in the Peace Corps and make a medical discovery. Though her list was deemed ambitious, her to-do's were mostly for other people and she believed that she can somehow accomplish them during her lifetime.

Last Sunday, during the South Feast*, the talk was about No Small Living. Jon Escoto said that there are two important days in one's life: the day you were born and the day you discover why you were born.

When we were much younger, we believed that we were destined for something big. Some of us may have wanted to be a superhero, so we can help others. Most of us may have wanted to be doctor. Why? And we would answer in our most pang-Little-Miss-Philippines way "para po makapagpagaling ako ng maysakit."

But we have all grown up. We have been made aware of the reality that is bills, utilities, debts, and mortgage. We have been made to join the rat race in order to satisfy our needs and wants.

True, we each have our own lives to live and our own problems to solve. But we should be reminded that we are not living only for ourselves. We have to realize that our lives can be solutions to other people's needs.

But how can that be, you say? How can your life be a solution when it isn't perfect at all? Remember that God can use your painful experiences as an answer to someone else's questions. God can use our failures and your mistakes as a source of help for those in need. In the same way, God can use your talents as a blessing to others.

With that, begin to look at yourself. What are your experiences? What are your failures? What are your talents and gifts? How can you be of help to others through all these? When you have the answers, then your MISSION will be revealed to you. Remember, you have a BIG MISSION. We all do.

If you ask me what my BIG MISSION is, I have yet to find out, but with last Sunday's talk ,I might just begin working on discovering it.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

No Rush

Arrived extremely late at the office today. When my work schedule is really FLEXI 12nn, I came in at 2.30pm. Talk about punctuality!

But however late I was, I do not regret having arrived late for work. I do not regret having to sleep a little more in my comfy bed, even if it was Manic Monday for every other employee there is in the entire Metro Manila. I do not regret having waken up at 11.30am to have brunch with my mom, who almost always eats lunch by herself at home as my dad and I are already at the office come lunch time. I do not regret getting out of the house at 1.30pm, not getting stuck in the usual afternoon heavy traffic and enjoying the sight of the clear sky above me.

Yesterday at the South Feast^*, the talk was entitled "No Rush." Through the talk, I was taught that it is okay to be late a few times. It is okay to not hurry and to slow down a little bit. It is okay to "stop and smell the flowers" and not rush in finishing each and every task in my daily to-do list. I was encouraged to LIVE IN MY NOW.

Further during the talk, it was emphasized that where we are now is exactly where God wants us to be. If there seem to be interruptions or stumbling blocks on our way to finishing our tasks or reaching our goals, think that these could be God's gifts.

And while we are where we are, let us really "be here" (seems like a tongue twister huh? LOL). If we are attending mass, let's fully participate in it and not think of our bills. If we are with family or friends, let's fully enjoy our moments with them and not momentarily think of our personal struggles. If we suddenly get stuck in heavy traffic, let's just take the opportunity to, maybe, say a prayer or listen to good music, and not dwell on how ruined our day's schedule would be. If we are waiting in line in the grocery, let's take the chance to, maybe, clear our mind or hum a song, and not get irritated of the seemingly endless wait this brings us. When we enjoy where we are, we never feel like we are waiting.

With all that, I learned that life should not be such a RUSH. If we constantly just move from one task to another, get from point A to point B, and go from stage 1 to stage 2, without enjoying the journey, we will just let time pass us by and never enjoy life itself. Get rid of hurry. Slow down.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

(Photo source: www.writingthoughts.com)

Dirty hands

I am stumped.

How do you solve a problem that never goes away? How do you help someone who constantly rejects your help? How do you care for a person who doesn't want to take care of herself?

I am stumped.

Why do certain people require love from you yet find it so hard to accept your love when you give it to them? Why do certain people set expectations from you yet reject you when you're trying to meet, precisely, those expectations? Why do certain people set standards or goals for you yet never believe that you can achieve them?

I am stumped.

Then, I remembered: Love is the ultimate goal. It should be the only reason for everything. And because love is a decision, a loving person never grows tired. He never stops loving, even at the face of rejection. He never surrenders but decides to still love. After all, love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.

I am no longer stumped. I choose to dirty my hands.

(Photo source: http://www.christendomreview.com/)

Love, Memories, and Blessing

Last Sunday, at the South Feast^*, an AVP presenting pics of Tito Andrew was shown as a form of honoring for his service to the LOJ Family and to God for the past years.

Tito Andrew passed away last Tuesday of cardiac arrest. He had been battling with heart problems for years until the traitor of a sickness finally took hold of him.

I had only known Tito Andrew for a short span of time. I got to know him as he was the husband of Tita Ross, another LOJ servant, with whom I have tight bonds. I would remember him as the quiet Kids Ministry servant who would always smile his best whenever I'd pass by him in front of A-Plus Festival Mall (where the Kids Ministry always converge). He wasn't that servant who was always under the limelight or who was known by everyone. He was always in the background, quietly serving by tirelessly driving his L200 to provide transportation for fellow servants during community events and gatherings and for the equipment used by the Kids Ministry. Everyone remembered him as a silent but faithful servant who, despite his sickness, never said no to any opportunity to serve. He was always ready to be of help to anyone who needs it.

Then, I thought, when my time comes, when I'm the one inside a coffin, being exposed for everyone to see, how would I want to be remembered? I saw how Tito Andrew was dearly loved by his family, friends, LOJF, among others. Would I receive that kind of love when it's my turn? I saw how Tito Andrew was appreciated for his service to the community, to his family, and to God. Would I be remembered for such service as well when my time comes?

I was then reminded that, truly, in the end, it is not the wealth that we possess, the money that we have, or the physical beauty that we are blessed with that people will remember us for. It is the love that we had given in our lifetime, the memories that we had spent with the people we value, and the blessing that we had become to others that will make us memorable.

Tito Andrew had shared love, spent memories with friends and family, and become a blessing to others. I hope to be same when my time comes.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

(Photo source: http://bookingshub.wordpress.com/)

Nakokonsensya

(Photo source: http://www.uwsu.com).

This is a long post. Brace yourself.

Yesterday was a day of correction for me (I think!).

Scenario 1: Morning Mass. The priest says "Tanggapin natin pagpapala ng Panginoon" as he always does. I was suddenly struck by this. It was like actually "hearing" what that statement meant.

Scenario 2: South Feast*. The reading was Hebrews 4:16. It went, "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." The only words that got to me were "approach with confidence and receive."

"Why all these scenarios?," you say. Well, I think I was being corrected yesterday for not being accepting of the blessings that are given to me.

Last week, I was chatting with Mazel regarding Jennina's donations. The latter was planning to give the kids a bottle of multivitamins EACH. So that's 35 bottles. And I was telling Mazel that I was nakokonsensya. I meant I'd be happy with just 15 to 20 bottles, but 35 was just way over the top. I was nakokonsensya that I'm asking for way too much.

Last Saturday night, I received an email from Ate Lyn, saying that she would be sending X amount to my account as her donation. And my reply was, "ha??? as in X amount??? ate lyn, sobra naman un. masaya na ko sa 500pesos. promise!!! baka wala ka na magastos sa new home mo.. naku naman..."

Last Friday, I received a pledge from Rechelle; she's going to donate all 8 boxes of juice drinks I needed. And I answered, "NO! ang mahal nun! maghati hati na kayo." Imagine someone saying NO to a great blessing. Ang wirdo di ba? Ako lang ang pwedeng maging ganyan ka-weird! I was just amazed and guilt-ridden as to the tremendous generosity that people have been showing me. I feel nakokonsensya because I feel like I'm robbing these people of too much until they assure me that it is OK.

It finally got OK with me, i.e., this great show of support and help, only yesterday. In the two scenarios above, it was like I was being reminded that, "Hey, you asked. So I'm giving it to you." I felt like I was belittling God's power to give. I forgot that I can ask BIG and I can receive BIG. The only problem with me is I ask but I'm NOT ready to receive. I feel like I do not deserve this huge kindness. And then I remembered that, heck, God is just good. Whether I deserve all these blessings or not, God will give and give. Nothing that I do or do not do will ever change His generosity. It is just plain His nature. Ang galing no?

So given that, I will not hesitate receiving anyone's help anymore. I will let God showcase His goodness. That means I am SO ready to receive your donations! hehehehe

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus (LOJ) Community, happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10 at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna.

Dream Big!

(Photo source: http://www.lightyourpath.ca/)

Last Tuesday, over lunch, one of my friends in the office expressed his desire of joining the academe. It has been a few years since he graduated from UP, and he has realized that he would like to teach History. He said that it was that one thing that he would like to do in life.

Throughout this revelation, we were just encouraging him to go and give it a shot. We told him to look up on how to gain education units, how long it would take, and possible schools or institutions where he can choose to study and to teach. I was telling him to go ahead and realize that dream.

That normal lunch discussion actually reminded me of what the Kerygma Conference (KCon) last November taught me: Dream BIG and realize that dream!

To most of us, we'd ask, "And just how do I do that?" or we'd say, "I don't have dreams. Dreams are for five-year-old Little Miss Philippines candidates answering the pang-pageant question 'What do you want to be when you grow up?'"

I asked and thought the same things, until KCon changed all of that. With this, I want to share my learnings from that relevant event. I will begin my KCon Dream Big series notes here really soon (as soon as I find those notes! haha).