Empty Closet

It's that time of the year again. Why does it still feel the same way it did four years ago? I still cried a fresh set of tears this morning at the thought of what transpired at that fateful day.

I look at your room now. Your bed is a mess, if I can still find the bed underneath the high stacks of clothes piled on it. Your closet that used to store your favorite shirts, jeans, and those floral uniforms that the previous Manila city mayor imposed you wear (and you used to hate) is now full of just blankets, bedsheets, towels, and an even higher pile of our clothes up for ironing. Your dresser that I used to raid for any new stuff I can borrow (and not return) has turned into another mini altar. All of your stuff are gone. But why do I still feel every inch of you here?

I miss you, Tita Lyn. Sobra.

By the way, that blue shirt with pink collar I took from your cabinet, I use pa rin. Fits me perfectly now.

My last Christmas pic with Tita Lyn (Christmas 2006)

A Lola of Great Faith

“Tama na yang TV, magdasal na tayo.”

Nobody moves.

“Magdasal na tayo.”

Still, nobody moves. Eyes fixed on the tube. Ears as if plugged with giant cotton balls.

“Magdasal na tayo. Hindi natin dapat nakakalimutan ang Diyos.”

Much as I want to go on with the pretend-I-didn’t-hear-anything drama, I get up from my seat and turn off the TV, to the dismay of my cousins. Being the eldest in the bunch, I herd my cousins in front of the altar, where Inang had already been waiting for us.

This was how everyday family prayer would start when I was a kid. It was a struggle. Like gulping a spoonful of Tempra when you’re down with fever, you just want it over and done with.

But Inang seemed oblivious to the groans and sighs of her grandchildren come prayer time. She would ignore the dragging feet and the lousy answers to “Hail Mary” and would remind us that God is more important than TV. She wants us to value prayer and to always follow Jesus’ example in everything we do.

For that, I loved and respected Inang–for her faith, her wisdom, and her great love for family. But a greater testament of her faith was revealed in that day after my Tita Lyn was laid to rest.

It was mid-day. The whole family–Inang, my parents, aunts, and uncles–was gathered over lunch. We were talking about Tita Lyn’s death. We lost her when she was run over by a speeding bus. Pure hatred was the only thing we felt for the driver, and we were ready to avenge her murder.

Silent in the midst of the very emotional discussion, Inang suddenly uttered, “Hindi ko pa man sya nakikita, pinapatawad ko na ang drayber na ‘yon.” All eyes were now on her.

I thought, “How could you say that? Didn't he just kill your daughter? Didn't he just run over her several times, ignoring her loud cries for help? Didn't he just rationalize what he did? Why are you being like this? Isn't she important to you?” He had no remorse. He never asked for forgiveness. For that, I will never forget his face. His menacingly proud face will forever be etched in my heart.

As if she had read all the thoughts in my head, Inang burst into tears, "Ipinahiram lang ng Diyos sa akin si Lyn para alagaan ko at mahalin bilang anak, pero sa Kanya naman talaga sya. Kaya pinapatawad ko na yung drayber, dahil parati rin naming tayong pinapatawad ng Diyos."

That left me silent. I felt my eyes start to well up. She was right. Tita Lyn was, first and foremost, God's daughter; He must have already needed her up there. And true. If the God who made all heaven and earth could forgive sinners like us, how could we not pass on the forgiveness to others? Inang felt the pain of the loss, but she saw the bigger picture.

After that memorable day, I loved Inang even more and grew more respect for her. She is more than a daily Mass-goer, more than a prayerful lola, more than a forgiving mother. She is a true servant of God. And I pray to be like her, to be of great faith.

Me and Inang, my lola of great faith

Of Death

(Photo source: http://www.gmanews.tv)

Press Secretary Cerge Remonde's untimely death came as a total surprise, as Jen was telling me about it on the way to ATC yesterday. I don't know the man personally. Heck, I don't even remember his face! Lol. I haven't read any of this articles nor watched him intently in the news.

OK, what actually caught me by surprise was the fact that he died alone in his bathroom at a very young age of 51. I haven't read or seen much news about his death (because I haven't been watching TV recently), but Jen was telling me that the Press Secretary lived alone here in Manila and that his family was based in Cebu. Upon hearing that, I thought that his passing was such a sad way to go; he died without his family by his side. And he lived his recent years just working and working away from his family.

Some of us, we work hard in building our careers or in engaging in our businesses. We sometimes fail to spend time with family and friends. We fail to create time for recreation. We think, "I'll just relax and spend time with friends and family when I retire from work. I'll have the time then." But this sudden passing of Remonde should remind us that time is of the essence and that life is truly short. We do not know when we'll go and how sudden or how prolonged death will come to us. The retirement age that we envision may not even come upon us. Our time may be up before we know it.

So live life NOW. Spend time with people who are important to you NOW. Yes, do not forget responsibilities, but do not also forget your loved ones. Try to always be happy and to feel blessed and grateful (I'm also saying this to myself! hehe).