Sometimes I think I haven't done any single thing right the first time. An initial step would almost always require two steps (at times a giant leap) back. A decision made would force a hundred and one retractions. An on-the-spot moment would constitute an entire week of regret and humiliation.
"I was made ready," Astroboy said. In my case, I'd likely insert a giant NOT somewhere in between that statement. I can't remember a time when I got into a sudden situation and came out of it alive, with all pride and reputation still intact. Almost always, I'd do something really stupid, make a kindergarten-level decision, and hate myself for the negative turnout.
Why wasn't I made ready for anything? Why am I the most gullible, sheltered, and naive gal there is? Why can't I just be like everyone else: street smart and mature?
I'm such a dummy. Argh.
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