Monday, May 31, 2010

No Rush

Arrived extremely late at the office today. When my work schedule is really FLEXI 12nn, I came in at 2.30pm. Talk about punctuality!

But however late I was, I do not regret having arrived late for work. I do not regret having to sleep a little more in my comfy bed, even if it was Manic Monday for every other employee there is in the entire Metro Manila. I do not regret having waken up at 11.30am to have brunch with my mom, who almost always eats lunch by herself at home as my dad and I are already at the office come lunch time. I do not regret getting out of the house at 1.30pm, not getting stuck in the usual afternoon heavy traffic and enjoying the sight of the clear sky above me.

Yesterday at the South Feast*, the talk was entitled "No Rush." Through the talk, I was taught that it is okay to be late a few times. It is okay to not hurry and to slow down a little bit. It is okay to "stop and smell the flowers" and not rush in finishing each and every task in my daily to-do list. I was encouraged to LIVE IN MY NOW.

Further during the talk, it was emphasized that where we are now is exactly where God wants us to be. If there seem to be interruptions or stumbling blocks on our way to finishing our tasks or reaching our goals, think that these could be God's gifts.

And while we are where we are, let us really "be here" (seems like a tongue twister huh? LOL). If we are attending mass, let's fully participate in it and not think of our bills. If we are with family or friends, let's fully enjoy our moments with them and not momentarily think of our personal struggles. If we suddenly get stuck in heavy traffic, let's just take the opportunity to, maybe, say a prayer or listen to good music, and not dwell on how ruined our day's schedule would be. If we are waiting in line in the grocery, let's take the chance to, maybe, clear our mind or hum a song, and not get irritated of the seemingly endless wait this brings us. When we enjoy where we are, we never feel like we are waiting.

With all that, I learned that life should not be such a RUSH. If we constantly just move from one task to another, get from point A to point B, and go from stage 1 to stage 2, without enjoying the journey, we will just let time pass us by and never enjoy life itself. Get rid of hurry. Slow down.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

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Friday, May 28, 2010

Just a Thought

Worrying is an insult to God,

because there is nothing that God cannot do.

He is the God of impossibilities.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Dirty hands

I am stumped.

How do you solve a problem that never goes away? How do you help someone who constantly rejects your help? How do you care for a person who doesn't want to take care of herself?

I am stumped.

Why do certain people require love from you yet find it so hard to accept your love when you give it to them? Why do certain people set expectations from you yet reject you when you're trying to meet, precisely, those expectations? Why do certain people set standards or goals for you yet never believe that you can achieve them?

I am stumped.

Then, I remembered: Love is the ultimate goal. It should be the only reason for everything. And because love is a decision, a loving person never grows tired. He never stops loving, even at the face of rejection. He never surrenders but decides to still love. After all, love is about dirty hands, not beating hearts.

I am no longer stumped. I choose to dirty my hands.

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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Love, Memories, and Blessing

Last Sunday, at the South Feast*, an AVP presenting pics of Tito Andrew was shown as a form of honoring for his service to the LOJ Family and to God for the past years.

Tito Andrew passed away last Tuesday of cardiac arrest. He had been battling with heart problems for years until the traitor of a sickness finally took hold of him.

I had only known Tito Andrew for a short span of time. I got to know him as he was the husband of Tita Ross, another LOJ servant, with whom I have tight bonds. I would remember him as the quiet Kids Ministry servant who would always smile his best whenever I'd pass by him in front of A-Plus Festival Mall (where the Kids Ministry always converge). He wasn't that servant who was always under the limelight or who was known by everyone. He was always in the background, quietly serving by tirelessly driving his L200 to provide transportation for fellow servants during community events and gatherings and for the equipment used by the Kids Ministry. Everyone remembered him as a silent but faithful servant who, despite his sickness, never said no to any opportunity to serve. He was always ready to be of help to anyone who needs it.

Then, I thought, when my time comes, when I'm the one inside a coffin, being exposed for everyone to see, how would I want to be remembered? I saw how Tito Andrew was dearly loved by his family, friends, LOJF, among others. Would I receive that kind of love when it's my turn? I saw how Tito Andrew was appreciated for his service to the community, to his family, and to God. Would I be remembered for such service as well when my time comes?

I was then reminded that, truly, in the end, it is not the wealth that we possess, the money that we have, or the physical beauty that we are blessed with that people will remember us for. It is the love that we had given in our lifetime, the memories that we had spent with the people we value, and the blessing that we had become to others that will make us memorable.

Tito Andrew had shared love, spent memories with friends and family, and become a blessing to others. I hope to be same when my time comes.

*The South Feast, a weekly gathering of the Light of Jesus Community (LOJ), happens every Sunday at Festival Mall Cinema 10, Alabang, Muntinlupa City, at 11am and at 3pm. It is led by Feast Builder/Main Preacher Arun Gogna. LOJ is a Catholic charismatic community led by Bo Sanchez.

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K for K

So want to go here, but my knees are failing me..

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Blessing or Burden?

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See the blessing in the burden.

It was only recently when my family has been caught in the middle of a not-so-good situation. I have lost buckets of tears contemplating on what is currently going on and asking God for protection and assistance. Human as I am, I have, at times, wondered how all these can be happening to our family. I have asked God what could be the reason for all these, but I have yet to understand... until late this afternoon.

I sent my dad a text message telling him to take care as he goes home. I'd be coming home at a later time, so we won't be traveling together. My SMS was simple: "Pauwi ka na ba? Ok. Ingat. Godbles" But it was way different from the usual SMS I'd send had not for the current situation, which would be more like "Pauwi ka na? Ok." Yeah, that's it. Just two sentences and a period.

It was then that I realized what a blessing this burden of a situation has brought us. It has made the two of us more expressive of our concern for each other. It has brought us closer to each other faster than we had tried in 27 years. This is the blessing: my dad and I having a better relationship because of this burden.

Yes, I still do not like everything that has been going on. I still am not sure why all these are happening. But I am secure that God has a reason for all these and that He will never let go of us. I can choose to focus on the burden, or I can choose to look beyond it and see the greater blessing. I choose the latter.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

I thank God today.

Today has been a day of tears. My tear glands had been on high gear almost the whole day for a couple of reasons. I needed a hug but didn't want to bother people of this need. Everyone seems a little more busy than usual (me included). But I am glad I still got a hug, although a virtual one, from my bestfriend Mazel, who's in Japan. I thank God for that today.

Today has been a day of reconciliation. Went to Greenbelt Chapel to attend First Friday mass with Joanne. Cannot help but cry even more during mass (darn these tear glands!) but had a great confession afterward. I say great, because, for a long time, it is only now that I actually enjoyed talking to a priest over confession. My bad, I didn't get the name of the priest, but he was full of wisdom, practical, and straight to the point. Hadn't there been a ton of other people waiting outside the confession box, I would have asked a lot more questions and had a longer conversation with him. I related well with his comments, learned so much from his advices, and was affirmed of my beliefs. I thank God for that today.

Today has been a day of terrific crepes. After draining my tear glands dry, had a huge plate of mango crepe from the nearby Cafe Breton at GB3 with Joanne and Veena. I love crepe! I enjoyed my La Pinay and I thank God for that today.

Today has been a day of lessened expectations. I have always been reminded to lessen my expectations of people; I just fail to keep that in mind, so the next time something happens that falls short of such expectations, I get seriously disappointed. But today is a reminder that to have less expectations of people is to live happier. I thank God for that today.

Today has been a day of love that is better expressed. He has always been the quiet type, never inquisitive and often only silent. He cares but never shows it explicitly. He protects but never too obviously. He worries about me but never admits it. He loves but never conveys it in words. Today has been different; he showed his care, protection, and love ever more fully. He is my dad and I thank God for him today.

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