Out of Focus

 

If I had a bucket list, 'travel the world' would make it to the top of the list (next to 'fit into a bikini without having people who'll see me throw up' haha!).

Roadtrips. Unpopular beaches. Secret getaways. New adventures. If I could only leave this workstation ASAP and do all that in a snap, I would. What would I give to have 'travelling' as a job and 'beach-bumming' as a hobby.

Oh, if only I could.

In the meantime, I sit on a cushioned chair for a little more than 7 hours in an air-conditioned room inside a building only 20 minutes away from home. Not that bad really, except I don't have fine beige sand brushing against my feet as I walk to work and I don business casuals all the time. 

At times, I think that, like the video above, I am out of focus as well: having a hint of what I want to be and where I want to go but not really quite sure about everything. Out of focus. Lost in my path. Unknowing of my future.

But time and again, when I feel like I can't and will never ever find the road that leads to where I should be, when I get distraught by the uncertainty, God, in His most special way, always reminds me that I am where I am supposed to be right now. 

I look back at the many choices I've made in the past, at every turn I made and at every step (or misstep) I took. And I see that, somehow, everything still went for the better: I have gained life-changing lessons. I have grown in wisdom. I have learned more about myself. I have known God more.

So, I guess, at a certain level, I may still be out of focus, still a little lost, still unknowing. I may still make a few wrong choices, wrong turns and even missteps. But, I know, at the end of my journey, I will look back and say that everything still went for the better.